Popping the Positivity Bubble: Living with Compassion in the Age of Social Media
"Good vibes only!""Positive vibes only!""Protect your good energy""Let go of negativity."You hear these phrases all of the time, especially around the wellness world. I'll be the first to admit that I use this language of positivity. For me, it's all about countering negative self-talk. As someone who suffers from anxiety, I often find myself thinking harsh, critical thoughts about myself that simply aren't true. When you're always thinking gloom and doom, it can sometimes be helpful to think on the bright side. I've had to be careful, however, about not letting this language of positivity cut me off from reality. In the real world, there are problems; societal problems, hardships, and unpleasant emotions. As much as we would all like to live in Lala land 24/7, all positivity all the time can actually turn you into an insensitive jerk.
The Positivity Bubble
Last year, Facebook was hot with racial tension after the shootings of Philando Castile and Alton Sterling. A friend of mine from college posted that she was sick of the hate online and only wanted to see puppy videos. Her relatives were sympathetic, but I quickly unfriended her, fuming over the fact that this matter of life and death was just too unpleasant for her timeline.Things haven't gotten much better since. If you haven't noticed, post- Trump Facebook and Twitter are pretty much burning dumpster fires. It's normal to want to escape the horrors of the news, but it's also important to stay informed. The real world is not always sunshine and roses. The traumatic experiences of others are not your personal inconvenience. Positivity mixed with privilege can sometimes be toxic, so it's always good to keep in touch with the very real experiences of our fellow human beings.
Turning a Blind Eye
As a mental health advocate, I'm all too familiar with folks who would rather ignore unpleasant topics until it is too late. Some of the positive thinkers of the world seem to suffer from cognitive dissonance. Not all negative things can be ignored or pushed aside. If you want to develop empathy for others, you have to be compassionate and understanding of the full range of human emotions.No one is happy all of the time and you can't simply reject others because they may be going through "negative" emotions. Of course, if people in your life are gossiping, mean, draining or abusive, you should definitely take steps to distance yourself from that energy. But if you claim to be a compassionate person, you can't look at someone else's hardship and suffering and complain that it's messing with your karma. That just makes you an unapproachable and self-absorbed. Imagine a close friend is feeling down, going through a rough stage in life, or even feeling depressed or suicidal. They might want to reach out to you, but your "Positive Vibes Only" Facebook post might make them feel like a downer or a burden.
Get Real
Plus, let's be real. Social media is not real life. A lot of us, especially in the wellness community, feel the need to appear happy and zen 24/7. When we show other's that life is complex and that we all have flaws and vulnerability, there's a better chance at creating real and lasting connections with others. No one of us is perfect. No one of us ( I don't care what kind of meditating, healthy eating, yogi you claim to be) is positive all of the time. Let's try human vibes, compassionate vibes, supportive vibes, vulnerable vibes. Let's try being there for each other.