3 Ways 15 Minutes Can Save Your Holidays
By: Nicole Woodcox Bolden M.S.W
Tis the season to cook like a chopped champion, clean like your Mrs. Clean, be a socialite like Paris Hilton, and make all your child’s toy dreams come true like your last name is Mattel. As I get older, the holiday season brings about as much stress as it does joy. It has become a season where I remember the family members that are no longer around to celebrate with, have to decide how to visit family from not only both sides of my family but also my husband’s family, figure out what traditions we would like to create now that we have children, and then choose how to let our children celebrate the holidays without losing the meaning of the holidays. Sadly, somewhere in between trying to please everyone during the holidays and creating a magical experience for my family, I have allowed myself to lose a little bit of my joy during this season.This year I have promised myself not to let this happen anymore. I hope that you can join me in this mission to not allow outside elements control my joy during this holiday season and every other day. This will not be an easy task because the rhythm of life often present us with options that appear to be either/or instead of and. Thus, putting us in situations that may not always favor the side of self-care. I talk a little bit more about this here.To help in making this a successful mission, I have found and practiced using a variety of self-care techniques. I will share three of these techniques that can be utilized in 15 minutes or less.
1. Utilizing your senses
In this always-connected world that we live in today, stressors are thrown at us all day without a real chance to properly process them. Therefore, one of the best things you can do for your self-care is to identify stressors and develop self-care plans for how you will address them when they arise. If you are able to eliminate them, do so quickly. If you are not able to eliminate them from your life (i.e. a family member that requires a little extra patience to get along with), your self-care plan will require you to identify the emotion that typically arises in the situation, people you can ask for help in the moment, places you can go, and ways to cope if you can’t escape J. Eventually you will need to address the root cause of the problem but for now we are focused on just getting through the holidays.The tool you can use to cope with any stressor quickly is to utilize your senses (sight, sound, smell, touch, taste, & movement). Utilizing your senses allows you to snap out of your unproductive thoughts and become more mindful about fully taking in the present moment. Being mindful can help us gain mental clarity because it allows us to temporarily step away from the emotions surrounding a situation. Examples of how to do this:Sight- Look at something that makes you happy or takes to good thoughts, like holiday decorations, a baby, snow, or the sun, and take a deep breath.Sound- Turn on your favorite song and either just listen or sing along.Smell- Spray on your favorite perfume or essential oil and take a nice long whiff of it.Touch- Pet a dog/cat, put on some comfortable clothes, or go take a warm bath.Taste- Have one of your favorite drinks or snacks and take your time enjoying it, so that you can savor all its flavors.Movement- Go for a walk, do some jumping jacks or simply stretch.
2. Journal writing
Have you ever been in a situation where someone was rude to you and you kept thinking about the situation for hours after, going through all the things you should have said or done? Yeah, well we have many more thoughts like that in our head that just linger there, torturing us. A solution for that is to GET IT OUT YOUR MIND! You need to write the crap down and release it. Writing allows your mind to step out of the situation and see it more objectively, usually allowing you to answer your own questions or realize the situation really wasn’t that big of a deal. Also, writing allows you to talk to yourself without appearing a little strange to everyone around you. Try it for two days and see how you feel. This journal sheet only asks that you take a few minutes in the morning and a few minutes in the evening. This will give you the opportunity to write down your intentions for the day and then release any thoughts that are stuck in your head from the day.
3. Sit down and create your best "yes" criteria for the holidays
During the holidays, we can easily be pulled in every direction because we want to make as many people happy as possible. I suggest that you take a few minutes today to decide what the criteria will be for you to say "yes" to a request. This will require you to maybe sit down with your family and discuss how much time you want to give to extended family and friends, what are some non-negotiables, what distance are you willing to travel, who do you absolutely what to see, etc. Because remember every yes to an ok situation is a no to a better situation.
What are you quick holiday self-care tips?
About Me: I’m Nicole, a Wife, Mom, Social worker, Doula, and success cheerleader for all at Thriving withBaby.com. I am a recovering people pleaser who has experienced burnout and depression. I have fortunately been able to receive the support needed to realize that happiness is not something that others can give you. I invite you to join me on a journey of playing all out in this game called life.If you are done with playing small and ready to be unstoppable in 2017, you don’t want to miss out on my new self-care course, Enough is Enough. Sign up here to get a free 2-day sample of the course.