From Affirming to Being

I think I've outgrown affirmations.This is a big confession for me to make as a longtime self-care junkie, but nevertheless, I must say that recently affirmations simply haven't been enough for me. Early on in my journey, I wondered, "When will these affirmations start to feel true? When will self-love become a part of my essence and not something I have to wish into being?" Recently, I've come to the conclusion that  I need something stronger, so I started making declarations.Affirmations are meant to affirm your intentions for living but as we all know, intentions and being are two very different things. You can intend to be loving and supportive, and then make comments that suggest the opposite in the heat of the moment. You can intend to excel in your career, and still show up to work late every day. If only you could connect your intentions with your actions, life would be so simple. But as we all know, there's a gap between intention and being, and so many obstacles seem to present themselves when we venture near the edge and dare to jump.I don't want to keep pretending that somehow, if I soak in enough affirmations, the way that I show up to the world will suddenly change or I'll one day reach %100 battery life on self-love and can just kick back and drink margaritas on a yacht with Oprah. Affirmations create a sense of unclear expectancy. When exactly will these words come true? Someday? I'm not sure that I have time for that anymore.My solution? Life declarations. You know, like the Declaration of Independence. America didn't ask England if they could please be their own country one day. The founding fathers got clear on what they wanted, wrote it down, signed it, and sent it over to England as a courtesy. When you make a declaration, your many, many reasons no longer matter. No one else's reasons matter either. You've made a promise to yourself, and you know that if you don't fulfill on it, the only person who will be hurt is you.Back to American History, the founding fathers then went to work creating a constitution, the wack ass Articles of Confederation. It sucked as a governing document, but the point is that after the declaration, you are able to go into being. Declarations lead to actions, actions lead to revolutions, both in history and in breakthroughs for our personal and professional lives.Declare what you want for your life. Put yourself on the line. You are the most valuable variable in your life. Put your integrity on the line and raise the stakes!We spend so much time trying to control circumstances in our lives and get frustrated over and over again when the universe doesn't seem to go our way. Now, imagine a world in which we were all able to be present in the moment and embody the intentions we have for our lives in day to day interactions. Mindfulness practices have long drawn upon the idea that the only way to live is in the present. Instead of waiting for the future "me" to emerge, I declare that I am love, openness, and abundance right now.As human beings, we have the power to choose our way of being in every moment of the day. Too often, we limit ourselves by saying "I'm not like that" or "I don't do that". Instead of making a long list of everything we don't do, why don't we focus on living a life in which we are fully self-expressed in what we do want for ourselves? A life in which we embrace our intentions as more than just fanciful thoughts, but as a very real possibility for our lives. Do you affirm love, but find that you are not attracting love or acting very lovingly throughout your day? There's a disconnect between your intention and your way of being. You can bridge the gap by declaring a new way of being for yourself and remaining present with this promise to yourself.

Take-Away Tips:

Practice Meditation and Mindfulness - Catch negative, self-defeating thoughts in the bud by becoming more aware of your thoughts. Remember that your thoughts are not law, or even an accurate reflection of reality. If you think you are a failure, it doesn't mean you are a failure. If you call yourself ugly, by no stretch of the imagination does that mean that you are in FACT ugly (pretty/ ugly, failure/success is so subjective anyway, but alas, let's save it for another post). And also, if you're calling yourself ugly, just stop it! I will tolerate no hateration or holleration in this dancery!Don't throw away your affirmation stickies! - Affirmations are still useful reminders of your worth and value. The problem arises when we leave those reminders behind on our dresser mirrors and proceed to let negative self-talk take over, effectively canceling out all of the affirming we just did. Carry the affirmation with you as a way of being, not just a hollow reminder.My friends, life is happening right now. Don't wait on an affirmation to work its magic. You are the magic. Proceed according.I'm curious about your experiences using affirmations. How have they helped you along your journey? Can you relate to wondering when they will stick? Let me know in the comments.